The Canvas of a Mother’s Heart

“And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work…Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness.”   — 2 Corinthians 9:8, 10

This past Sunday was one that began much like all the others before it.  We lingered in our beds a bit longer than we should have, then scurried to look our best for heading off to church as a family.  We enjoyed our different lessons and the friends we chatted with in the cafe, and left, feeling the freedom of a day wide open to possibilities.  Lunch was awaiting us in the crock pot and the only thing ahead of us was youth group for the oldest two boys later in the evening.  Sundays are often my long awaited breath of fresh air after diving deep into the depths of homework, extra-curricular, appointments and schedules all week.  This Sunday was just that; a wonderful breath of air…in more ways than one.

Just last week I was sharing with friends that although I feel, and always have, that motherhood is my life’s calling, I often get dragged down by the weight of it and its constant momentum.  In the everyday, motherhood can be thankless and exhausting, and I for one, regularly question my efforts and seem to see my inadequacies glaring back at me as if reflecting off the top side of a magnifying glass.  It’s tough to see the good in those times.  It’s nearly impossible to see the bigger picture that God is painting when our gaze is stuck on one single stroke that seems to lack color, direction, shape or form…when life gets clumpy and doesn’t go on smoothly.  Honestly, while raising three boys, it is not often that there is much sensible direction that is lasting, or smooth sailing for very long stretches!  It’s messy!  It’s GOOD and messy!  So that is where you’ll find me most days, just doing my best to trudge through, all the while adding any brightness or color I can muster, praying God helps it to stick and fills in the gaps.   I trust that many of you can relate in some way…mothers, fathers, caregivers, friends.  We can’t always see the beauty in our efforts, until God gives us a glimpse of his plan.  

“Let us not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”  — Galatians 6:9

So, I mentioned that my day was quiet and my plan was for it to be uneventful.  God had a better plan!  My husband gathered my oldest two boys and took them back to church for youth group.  My youngest was playing quietly downstairs and I remember thinking how peaceful the evening was.  My ears were perked, and my senses alert, as it was just my six year old and I left in the house.  You moms understand what I mean, when our senses are heightened and more in tune to instantly know of any needs that may arise with our little ones, all while soaking in a bit of peace and quiet down the hall or behind a closed door or eyelid.  I was reading something while lounging in my bed when I heard his pitter-patter the first time.  

“Mom!” he shouted chipperly from the hallway before galloping in.  

“Yes, Solomon?”  I asked.  

“I’ll be downstairs cleaning Asher’s room if you wonder where I am!  But it’s a surprise so you can’t tell him.”  he said with an excited seriousness.

I proceeded to tell him that he didn’t have to clean Asher’s room, but that it was such a sweet thought.  If that was what he wanted to do, I certainly wasn’t going to stand in his way.  Lucky Asher!  is what I was thinking, along with Oh no, what did he do that he is trying to butter Asher up!  But his intentions seemed right enough and my bed was cozy so I left him to it.  I heard music start playing and concluded that he was doing just as he said, to the beat of some good tunes.  About 5 minutes later he came wandering in, a bit more quiet this time, but still a boy clearly on a mission.  

“Mom.  I forgot to tell you that I want to be baptized.”  

This is the point where I have struggled to find the words to share with you what that moment was like for me.  There just aren’t any.  My little six year old, peanut of a boy came to me and declared his intentions to follow Jesus.  I cannot adequately describe the emotions that I felt then and still am now.  Let me just say, my world stood still, my heart just about burst and I can still see his sweet, innocent yet determined, expression in my mind’s eye.  I’m not going to share the specifics of our conversation that followed.  Those moments are a gracious gift that God intended for Solomon and I to share.  But I will just say that I cleared up for him the difference between baptism and salvation, he asked questions and I answered them as I felt led.  I was at peace to let the moment pass as simply a teaching moment, but Solomon was a boy with intention.  His was a heart ripe for the harvest and he asked me to lead him in a prayer to choose Jesus.  He spoke with a confidence that I had never heard in his voice before, and when he lifted his head after saying Amen, I could genuinely see God at work in his eyes.  

Life is a series of seasons; a journey of hills and valleys.  Our purpose cannot be clearly seen at every point, but God is faithful to guide us to those places where his light shines brightly upon us and through us.  The bends and dips, crooks and forks are all there at his will, to teach and mold us, to better prepare us.  Be careful to stay on the path, my friends, whichever way it’s winding, and trust that He who called you according to his purpose is not only at work on the destination, but in the midst of the journey as well.  

“Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord’s coming.  She how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains.  You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near.”  James 5:7-8

And just like that, my Mother’s Day is already the best yet…Thank you Jesus!

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